Entry #10

Dear Diary,

I am very distraught. Simon didn’t ask me to the winter formal! I mean, he’s practically my boyfriend, so I don’t know why he didn’t ask me! I was looking forward to going with him. I begged my mom to buy me a new dress and I even got my hair done. At first I thought that maybe he didn’t ask me at school because he was going to surprise me. I thought he was going to show up at my front door with a corsage and sweep me off my feet. Well, Simon ended up going with that slut Stacy Carter. I almost lost it. At that moment all I wanted to do was cut my skin so I would feel better, but now I know this isn’t his fault. Clearly he doesn’t understand that we’re meant to be together, so I have to show him. This is just a minor setback.

Therapy isn’t going any better. Dr. Wilson is trying to get me to open up, but I’m not ready to do that yet. He keeps asking me how I would feel if my parents split up. I mean, obviously I don’t want that to happen because then I would have to choose who I want to live with. I would most likely live with my mom because I don’t want to leave Deerwood. All my friends are here. My life is here. I don’t know what I would do without Marisa. She’s been my rock through this whole thing with my parents. She’s my best friend and we usually tell each other everything, but she doesn’t know that I have been cutting myself. I guess I’m afraid that she’ll judge me. She also doesn’t know that I’m in love with Simon. I think deep down I’m afraid that he’ll like her more than me, and I can’t accept that.

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