My name is Hanna Clark. I’m seventeen years old and I’m a senior in high school. My parents are downstairs fighting…AGAIN! They fight all the time. Probably because my dad is always working. The other day I overheard them fighting about sex. Apparently my mom thinks that my dad is having an affair. She didn’t say it that way though . It was more like “you’re f**king somebody else!” Of course he denied it. I don’t want to hear that crap! Whenever they fight I put on my ipod earphones so I don’t have to listen to them yell and swear at each other. They have no idea what this is doing to me. Sometimes I cut myself on my wrists to get away from this sadness. I keep a razor blade hidden under my mattress. I wear a lot of long sleeves so nobody will know. I’m not trying to kill myself. I don’t cut deep enough to end my life, just deep enough to numb the pain for a little while. People who see me think I’m really happy because I’ve gotten really good at faking a smile.
It never used to be this way. We used to be a happy family that did things together, but now it’s like they can’t stand each other. I can’t take it anymore. I wish I could escape all of this. Sometimes I want to run away and never come back. What happens to me if my parents get divorced? Will I have to live with my mom or my dad? It’s not fair that I have to choose, but if I did I would probably live with my mom.
So there’s this guy at my school named Simon Richards and he’s on the soccer team. I’m so in love with him and I know he loves me too. He just doesn’t know it yet. I could tell by the way he smiles at me in the hall. He also accepted my friend request on Facebook. I think about him all the time. I have to make him understand that we are meant to be together. If I can’t have him then nobody can.